HILLS AND BUMPS IN A TEEN'S LIFE

 Everyone has ups and downs in life. Sometimes things don’t happen as planned or expected. But it is very important to accept them and move on. It is better to face the reality and get prepared for the alternative path designed for you. Let us go through such scenarios and find out best ways to deal with them.

FACING REFUTATION/DISAPPOINTMENT

A rejection or failure can happen in several situations. It could be an examination, a professional interview or a business offer. It means you were found incompetent or under-qualified in that specific arena.

We are not discussing a denial in romantic proposals here. (It has already been discussed in negative scenarios in case of crush)

In what ways you can act on it:

1)      Don’t contemplate yourself as a loser and become depressed.

2)      Discover the area where you lacked and start working on them.

3)      Conversation with successful people will benefit to prepare accordingly.

4)      Shape your talent/ aptitude according to that job.

5)      Preparation, rehearsal and repetition- is the key to accomplishment.

6)      A series of sincere actions and devotion will lead to success.

7)      Think of an alternative or a plan B, not for the reason that you can’t do it, but because you must have an opportunity which may be best suitable to your competence.

 

BREAKUP IN A RELATIONSHIP

Termination of a relationship is an awfully hard chapter in anybody’s life, particularly for the one who is not prepared for it. It happens when either of them is not willing to continue.

The initial step must be to recognize the problem and discover resolutions. A conversation about the past and future will benefit.

However, if it cannot be worked upon and there is no way to save the relationship, it’s better to leave.

How to move on:

1)      Never attempt to get back with your ex. Never fail to recall the cause of parting in the first place.

2)      Converse with your close group and pour the agony out.

3)      Don’t blame yourself and get depressed. Accept the fact and go ahead with your life.

4)      After a period of sorrow, pull yourself through and meet new people. Be socially active.

5)      Start dating again. You may find someone better only if you are open to it.

6)      Have faith in God’s plan for you.

7)      Don’t talk negative about your ex. Don’t reveal their secrets. Keep the break up mature and healthy.

8)      Try not to keep a lot of memories of that relationship in the form of gifts, pictures, etc. Let go of the material things and memories will fade soon.

9)      Have a belief that the person did not deserve you and that you deserve someone who appreciates your effort to make the relationship work.

10)   End of a relationship does not mean end of life. Think of all the love you get from your family, friends and others around you who need you. Don’t let one person rule your life.

 

DEALING WITH LOSS OF SOMEONE CLOSE

Losing someone close is an extremely difficult situation to handle especially at a young age. After a period of grieving, you need to accept the fact and learn to live with that loss.

There are 7 stages of grief.

1)      Shock and denial

2)      Pain and guilt

3)      Anger and bargaining

4)      Depression

5)      Upward turn

6)      Reconstruction

7)      Acceptance and hope

Though there are no words which can reduce the pain and hence only requirement to move ahead will be your own will power.

What can help?

1)      Talking and Sharing is a healing experience. Talk to anyone but don’t keep the pain inside.

2)      Resume your normal daily activities soon. Begin your classes etc and keep yourself busy.

3)      Don’t let loneliness peep in. Add something to your routine if you still feel lonely.

4)      Try building a connection with the lost person. Be involved in various rituals and anniversaries.

5)      Question yourself of the future and how to take care of the people left behind. Try to reduce their pain.

6)      If you are not able to talk, try writing a dairy or letters to the person. It will help in flow of emotions and give a sense of relief.

7)      Make a memory box. Store precious memories of the person in it. You may keep special belongings of them in it along with your pictures and various other such things.

8)      If you have sleeping disorders or other such symptoms in physical or emotional being, talk to someone. Take professional help, if needed, to cope with it.

9)      Begin a voluntary service as per the personality of the deceased person. Do something that they enjoyed doing.

It is understandable that when we don’t get what we expected, we begin to blame others and God for our situation. But it is advisable to have a positive outlook to every situation and plan your actions accordingly. Let each pain make you stronger and smarter to handle situations in the future. Walking through the storm is better than hiding in the comfort zone.